Lionel Logue (speech therapist to King George VI): When did [your] defect start?
King: I’ve always been this way.
Logue: I doubt that.
King: DON’T … TELL ME! It’s my stammer.
Logue: It’s my field. I can assure you, no infant starts to speak with a stammer. When did yours start?
King: 4 or 5.
Logue: That’s typical.
King: So I’ve been told. I … I can’t remember not doing it.
Logue: I can believe that.
…
Logue: When you talk to yourself, do you stammer?
King: Of … of course not.
Logue: Well, that proves your impediment isn’t a permanent part of you.
…
Logue: Did David [the King's brother] ever tease you?
King: Oh yes, they all did. ‘Buh-buh-buh-buh Bertie’. Father encouraged it. He said, “Get it out, boy!” Said it would make me stop. He said, ‘I was afraid of my father, and my children are … damn well going to be afraid of me!’
Logue: Who were you closest to in your family?
King: Nannies. Not my first nanny. She … she loved David but hated me. When we were presented to my parents for the daily viewing, she would … she’d pinch me so I would cry and be handed back to her immediately. And then she would … she would … then then she wouldn’t feed me. It took my parents three years to notice. As you … as you can imagine, it caused some stomach problems. Still does.
These three scenes all come from the movie, ‘The King’s Speech’ and take an intrguing behind-the-scenes look at the problem that was King George VI’s talking impediment. The conclusion of the last seen itself makes the viewer wish to cry. The King thanks Logue for listening to him, confessing that he had never once shared with anyone his painful past. Feeling gratitude, Logue says, “What are friends for?”, to which the King replied, “I wouldn’t know”.
At the beginning of the movie, when the King approaches Logue for help, he insists that the therapist not ask any questions about his past. He demands that Logue merely focus on the ‘mechanics’ of the problem, because, as he believes, the past says nothing about the present. He also has swallowed the lie that he was born that way, which he comes to realise is not actually the case! But it quickly becomes apparent that the past has everything to do with the problem and until the King opens up about it, healing of his impediment remains elusive.
The work done at Liberty with men and women struggling with unwanted homosexualityis not different to what The King’s Speech has depicted here. Many come to Liberty with mixed, or base, motives (“Just ‘fix’ me and take the problems away. God has a spouse ‘planned’ for me, so make me pure for her. I just want to stop masturbating/acting out/etc”). Many want to avoid things from the past for a whole host of reasons, but predominently the reason is that it is seen as too messy and even irrelevant, despite the fact that their sexual acting out is all being triggered from the past (“Just heal me of the addictive behaviour and ‘make’ me not masturbate again. But don’t get into any of the stuff about my past because it’s completely irrelevant to now”). Mechanics, mechanics.
Tragically, those who ask for help without getting into the past never are released from their pain and addiction because they’re avoiding one of the the most key ingredients to recovery. By focussing simply on ‘living in the moment’ while suppressing the past, they end up living a life of trigger and reaction, rather than reflection and recovery. They will continue to lapse back, even when they seek healing for the sake of pleasing another person (and that only fosters emotional dependency and victim-mindedness). It really is a road for high promise, but disappointing return. On the other hand, those who fess up to their past, go deep, reflect on themselves (rather than merely pointing out everyone else’s foibles) are the ones who make progress. That’s not to say that they need to be doing this 24 hours a day: after all, life’s meant to be enjoyed! But unless deeper introspection is done- guided, necessarily, by the Holy Spirit- and the heling is done just for the person (not for God or anyone else) then overcoming is a guarantee.
The King’s Speech is a helpful analogy to what healing can look like, even for someone in as high and lonely as a king. An average Joe or Jane has the same possibility available to them, if they have eyes to see and ears to hear.
People often tell me that I am a ‘deep’ and ‘intense’ person who says uncomfortable things and asks questions which induce awkwardness. They say that if it were a bad thing! But life’s too short- and important- not to be doing so.
I proudly admit that this is true, but in this business I need to ask these questions to those I pastor. It’s been costly: I’ve lost some ‘friends’ doing it, but there’s nothing more important than going where pain sources are to bring it out into the open for God to work powerfully in it. I even take these ‘scalpels’ to my own self, and while others may feel uncomfortable about it, it is all about looking after myself and those who really want to be healed. Nothing of significance under the sun is gained without difficulty and sacrifice, and as the King’s Speech shows, that is certainly true.
If you are finding it hard to go to healing and experience change then perhaps you, like the King, need to reflect and consider what is really going on deep inside.
Haydn (Liberty pastoral worker).