A week or so ago, a former ‘ex-gay’ leader named John Smid, openly declared on his blog that sexual healing and reorientation are not possible. Although not actually apologising for the work that he did in his ministry, Love in Action, he has distanced himself from orthodox Christian teaching.
Many people will look at a ministry like Liberty Christian Ministries and say, “See, there you go: another one bights the dust. All that you say and teach, it doesn’t work! The tide is turning against you”. As common as this kind of view is, it is no sign of defeat. It indicates that the spiritual war is intense, that many are being deceived, that hearts are being darkened, that people are not guarding their own hearts (Prov. 4:23), and that truth is all too often being exchanged for lies. It reinforces what Scripture has warned of lawlessness in the last days (e.g. 2 Thessalonians 2). Do people necessarily intend to do this? I am personally not convinced that they ever intend to do so: the battle is challenging and gut-wrenchingly challenging. Some days even I too don’t want to fight it, because going with the flow and getting accolades from the world can be seductively enticing at times. It’s a tiring battle. But often people lead themselves away from healing and victory by neglecting their prayer life and looking after themselves, by making small compromises over a long time frame, and failing to deal with the core issues of their brokenness.
As ‘rewarding’ as any accolades may be in the short-term for renouncing this kind of thing, they will not satisfy or last. Even if the majority or all the rest of the world were to go to destruction in a handbasket, it still would not void God’s word. As it says in Isaiah 55:11, the word of God always accomplishes what it sets out to achieve; may God be proven true and every man a liar! I’ve been thinking about these matters over the last week or so, and one ‘ex-gay’ leader sent me an encouraging email. In it, he said to me:
“Try not to determine the success of your work on how those you’re supporting are behaving. But determine it by their faithfulness to Christ even in the midst of their acting out behaviour. God always looks at our hearts and that is often where the change needs to take place … People will always be needy, and you’ll have to be clear about what you can do and what you can’t. Just because there’s a need in the ministry doesn’t mean you have to be the one who does it. Just remember to keep your own prayer life and family before anyone else. Keep vigilant in prayer and warfare. It’s a nasty bloody war you’re in so stay alert”.
I cannot think of a more helpful perspective. Sometimes when I am lacking in inspiration and hope, I remember my two predecessors in my position, Simon and Christopher. Both of them continue to live in Christ’s victory, as imperfect as they are, and God’s work in their lives have spoken to me that in fact victory is real. Christopher, a former gay man who married his wife Truda in his 40s (!) is still in Christ and with Truda, and enjoying his well-earned retirement. Simon, a former gay man and ex-prostitute, is living in victory with his wife and sons and God is using him to help many. God is good and powerful, even when many give up by believing lies, suppressing the truth, and grieving the Spirit.
*
Last night I read Psalm 27 in my quiet time, and it was tremendously encouraging (a comforting sister of Psalm 91). I had many thoughts in my mind buzzing around about how so many ‘ex-gay’ leaders have renounced Christ and their ministry work, and Psalm 27 addressed many of them:
3 Though an army may encamp against me,
My heart shall not fear;
Though war may rise against me,
In this I will be confident.
12 Do not deliver me to the will of my adversaries;
For false witnesses have risen against me,
And such as breathe out violence.
13 I would have lost heart, unless I had believed
That I would see the goodness of the LORD
In the land of the living.
14 Wait on the LORD;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the LORD!
Psalm 91 follows:
7 A thousand may fall at your side,
And ten thousand at your right hand;
But it shall not come near you.
8 Only with your eyes shall you look,
And see the reward of the wicked.
9 Because you have made the LORD, who is my refuge,
Even the Most High, your dwelling place,
10 No evil shall befall you,
Nor shall any plague come near your dwelling.
Even if the world is going to the garbage grinder, God is still true and good. Sin is sin and truth is truth, regardless of the statistical likelihood of anyone else doing it. He is doing His work, completing and perfecting that which He has begun. Jesus knows a lot of what it is like to have His own ministry companions betray Him but it did not stop Him, as much as it broke His heart. It’s at moments like this when it’s timely to remember Ecclesiastes 12:13-14, of what life is all about:
Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is man’s all. For God will bring every work into judgment, including every secret thing, whether good or evil.
Please pray for myself and all others involved in ministries like Liberty.
Haydn (LCMI pastoral worker).